The holidays are supposed to feel warm and full. For people who are grieving, they can feel the opposite. An empty chair at the table, a favorite song in a store, or a family tradition without the person who started it can bring loss right back to the surface.

Grief does not follow a calendar. It can be fresh this year or many years old and still flare during the season. If this time of year feels hard, you are not alone, and support is available.

Why Grief Can Feel Heavier During the Holidays

Holidays are built around connection, memory, and tradition. Those are the same things loss touches most. The season also brings pressure to feel happy, show up to gatherings, and keep things normal for others.

Grief is not only about death. People also grieve divorce, estrangement, a move, a job loss, a health change, or the life they expected to have. Any of these can make the holidays feel complicated.

Shorter days and colder weather in Eastern Idaho can add to the weight. Less daylight and more time indoors can leave people feeling isolated right when they need connection most.

What Holiday Grief Can Look Like

Grief shows up differently for everyone. Some people cry often. Others feel numb or keep extra busy so they do not have to feel much at all. Many notice changes in sleep, appetite, focus, or patience.

It is common to feel guilty about enjoying a moment, or angry that others seem to move on. Some people dread gatherings, then feel lonely when they stay home. These mixed feelings are a normal part of grieving.

Gentle Ways to Cope This Season

There is no right way to grieve during the holidays. It may help to give yourself permission to do things differently this year. A few ideas that many people find helpful:

• Choose which events to attend and plan an easy exit if you need one
• Keep one meaningful tradition and let others rest for a year
• Create a small ritual to honor the person or the loss
• Tell a trusted friend or family member what kind of support helps
• Protect basic routines like sleep, meals, and time outside
• Limit alcohol, which can make low moods and sleep worse

Be patient with yourself. Some days will feel lighter than you expect, and others will be harder. Both are part of the process.

When Counseling May Help

Grief is a natural response to loss, and it does not always need professional care. But counseling can help when grief feels stuck, overwhelming, or is getting in the way of daily life.

It may be time to reach out if you are having trouble getting through work or caring for your family, if you feel hopeless most days, or if you are leaning on alcohol or other substances to cope. Ongoing trouble sleeping, pulling away from everyone, or feeling unable to function months after a loss are also signs that extra support could help.

A counselor offers a steady, private space to talk about the loss, work through hard feelings, and find ways to carry grief without being crushed by it. Counseling can also help families who are grieving together but in very different ways.

If you are having thoughts of suicide or harming yourself, please reach out right away. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline any time, day or night. In an emergency, call 911.

Support Close to Home

Pearl Health has experienced counselors at each of our Eastern Idaho locations, and telehealth visits are available for people who find it hard to come in during winter. Our team works with adults, teens, and families facing all kinds of loss.

If the season feels heavy, you do not have to carry it alone. Contact Pearl Health in Ammon to ask about counseling or to schedule a first visit. We are here to listen and help you find a way forward.